< Insert Comic Here >

Name: Datchet
Occupation: Slave Driver

He's in charge of the < Insert Comic Here > studio where he is trying to start up a small publishing business. Even though it seems that he's often the voice of reason it's only a very clever cover.

Name: Zack
Occupation: Slacker

Works for Datchet at the studio (for what pay I'm not sure). They're good friends, but often find themselves at opposites with each other. He's mostly just lazy, spends his time goofing off and trying to avoid work.

Name: Robbie
Occupation: Philanthropist

Token female character, she was hired to increase web traffic. When not working on the strip she’s out supporting various causes.

Name: Maverick
Occupation: AWOL Sergeant

From what we know, he's a gun-toting, zombie-killing, gravity-defying loon(basically) He seems to know more than he lets on though...

Name: Bill the Ninja
Occupation: (Pacifist) Ninja Assassin

Although most people would have you believe that Ninjas are cold blooded killers, Bill has made it his duty to set the record strait. He enjoys reading a good book, tending his banzai trees and origami.

Name: Ms. Kitty Cutieface III
Occupation: Cat Girl?

Came from a prize capsule in a box of "Neek-O's" cereal, because that's where all cat girls come from, its the only logical explanation...

Name: Willard Wack-King
Occupation: Burger Clown

Leader of the Wacky-King's Burger Joint add campaign. He just loves eating the product, but he can only eat about 20(or so)burgers a day now, due to some medical fiasco years ago.

Name: Frank(Franklin)De Doden
Occupation: Contractor

Frank's just a normal guy trying to make a living, but for some reason he is plagued with wacko vigilantes that keep destroying his horde of undead foremen. Also he's the most reasonably priced contractor in the area.

Name: Karate Guy
Occupation: Karate Guy

The ultimate fighter, he's even beaten Normal Life. When he's not winning at being normal he's locked in combat with his rival, Master KungFu.

Name: William Presley
Occupation: Admiral

The commanding officer of Area 51.5. The sector of Area 51 in charge of saucer operating manual translation and formerly one weapon schematic. Formerly a US Marine, awarded the medal of honor after a successful mission and quickly promoted through the ranks. Until he gained the secret rank above Admiral as head of Area 51.5 and therefore wears very few rank medals.

Name(s): John Garnet and Smith Blae
Occupation: It’s a Secret

Highly trained agents who don't even techincally exist. while Garnet keeps quiet most of the time, Blae talks enough for the both of them. They were teamed up to make use of their vastly different personalities.

Name: Jenny Everywhere
Occupation: "The Shifter"

Jenny's just having a good time when ever, where ever and what ever universe she's in.

Name: Mat
Occupation: Contributing in the Theory of Mativity

The only thing that can be said about him is, Mat...

Name: Carlos
Occupation: Box of Doom

This is Carlos. He was driven insane by the loss of the use of his arm. Poor Carlos.

Name: Generic
Occupation: Ninja

These poor little men usually die so quickly that they never realy accumulate names.

Name: Overlord
Occupation: Almighty Beater of the Author!

The Overlord appears with frightening regularity in this comic, but if the author wasn't quite so lazy, I'm sure she could get a break every once in a while. She is actually the victim here.